[ Aku was not new to the Underground network, in fact he was very well connected with the LA crime network. It was not out of character for him to use the network for amusement as well as business. The internet was great for boredom. ]

So, my friends and colleagues. Just who exactly is responsible for today's mayhem?

[There's some muffled bumping and then the voice of a news anchor starts coming through the line. It sounded like he was holding the mic in front of his TV. Or magic scrying portal. The mic moved again right as they were exclaiming the fall of one of the local heroes and Aku burst into raucous laughter. ]

Whoever you are, I want to personally acknowledge your efforts. This has been most entertaining. I think we can all agree things have been rather dull lately.